Zeros and Fives

Went to bed with a peace last night that I haven't felt in a while. I started charting last month and though my temps were all over the place I got the hang of it. This month my temps couldn't have lined up more beautifully and here, 5 DPO, I have a spark of hope. My cycles are 30 days and I ovulated at day 15. I can't help but smile, because God knows, I love my zeros and fives to end everything. My radio volume, my microwave timing, everything. It's fitting with the zeros and fives.Anyone who knows me, knows about this slight OCD quirk. Things feel good. Stable. At peace.

Alvin will be starting his new job soon, Teresa is settling into her new house, Randy has fallen in love with his new classes since changing his major, my business is doing well, I'm getting a new car. For the first time in a long time I feel like maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe everything really does happen for a reason and there is a time for everything. Implantation doesn't happen until 6-10 dpo but last night I felt a tightness in the base of my stomach that I couldn't help to get excited about. I'm not going to say I'll probably fall flat on my face. I'm not going to say I'm not getting my hopes up in order to guard my heart. I'm getting my hopes up. I'm giving myself to this feeling, and if it doesn't happen, then yes, my heart will be broken, but it won't be the first time and I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and truck on to month 16, but for now, I'm going to live in the fact that my perfect dream may very well come true on a month that ends in a 5, that I conceived on a day that ended in a 5 and that the balance and joy I've been waiting for for 15 months is just around the bend. :)