Day 12 of my 500 mg Metfomin and I am NAUSEOUS! I'm getting headaches here and there, but I'm not sure if it's the meds or the fact that we're in the car for over 5 hours a day taking T (the MIL) to her radiation treatments. I've never done well in the car so it could be that but I'm thinking the meds aren't helping.
I started my period yesterday (and have had 2 very emotional days that I need to get over) and I should have already started temping but I've got to get on it. I really need to see what's happening with my ovulation with me being on the met.
I'm trying the healthy eating thing. Everyone says something different as far as what I need. That's what's gotten me so depressed and emotional. I feel like I'm at the base of a mountain looking up with no idea how to even start. I feel like I made really good choices today though so I'm proud of myself.
Breakfast- Spinach and cheese omelet and baloney. I couldn't eat too much of the omelet, but tomorrow I have a better plan for one.
Snack- Small apple and peanut butter
Lunch- Chicken Waldorf Salad with apples and pecans with no dressing
Snack- Peanuts
Dinner- Porkchop and half of a small sweet potato
Snack- Dr. Oz popcorn
Not too bad if I do say so myself. Especially if you compare it to what I usually eat. I miss sugar. A lot! What I'd do for some chocolate. That's about all I'm craving. I also drank a full gallon of water yesterday and I'm at 72 oz today, and I plan on at least getting 3/4s of the way through.
I need to start adding workouts into the mix. I'm going to apply for a scholarship at our local YMCA this week and I'll find out in 2 weeks if we get accepted. They have yoga classes and I think that would be great for me since I'm having such awful back pain I can't do anything too impacting that will make it worse. Anything will help at this point I think.
2 more days until I go to my 2 pills a day!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
In the beginning
I suppose this blog is going to take a turn for the teal. By which I mean, I can't focus on being TTC until I focus on getting healthy in spite of the PCOS, so I guess this journey is taking a detour focus on the mommy to be. I've started a group on facebook, Southern Cysters: An Alabama Based PCOS Support Group, to get in contact with others in my area also battling PCOS. I figure the only way I can do this is to be as proactive as I can be, and anyone who knows me knows what a little activist I am. Any excuse, right? lol After doing a bit of research, I'm seeing that PCOS encompasses so much more than I thought it did. Most things I've had issues with since puberty I can now link back with PCOS. It's shocking, reliving I guess, but frustrating at the same time.
Everyone keeps going back to "All of your problems will go away if you just loose weight". Okay... well, that's a little easier said than done. I'm currently having a lot of trouble getting used to the fact that pasta, bread, sweets, fruit, all of these foods that didn't make me sick (when most all food makes me sick) are actually really bad and I can't have them anymore, period, because my body doesn't know how to properly digest them without massive amount of insulin. ..... wow. I love chicken, veggies, nuts, ect.... but that's not the problem. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this change. I'm not too good at being told 'No' and if you saw my kitchen right now, it's not even in the ball park of being PCOS friendly. I'm currently at a loss, but I know I want to impress Dr. Richmond when I go back for my 6 week post metformin check up with some nice amount of weight loss. The only thing I know to do is to make small goals. My first goal was cutting out all sodas. I haven't had a soda since I started my Metformin. Yay me, but I've done this before. Numerous times before, so it wasn't a hard switch. My current goal is to drink 1 gallon of water a day. I'm starting that today. We'll see how it goes.
I'm on day 10 of my metformin. I'm still at 500mg (building up to 1650) and I've yet to have any of the 'digestive' side effects. I was terrified I would, but so far so good. I've had headaches here and there but I'm not sure they're connected. Thursday I go to 2 pills a day. We'll see if I'm still so lucky in the diuretic department. I'm sure that's when the worst of it will start. I've been told once I'm up to my full dosage my appetite will decrease and my weight will fall off, my skin will get better, and my body hair will lighten up and become much much thinner. So I'll get hot? That'll be nice. ;) I'm not holding one little series of pills to that high of esteem quite yet. We'll see if I change my mind in a few months.
Everyone keeps going back to "All of your problems will go away if you just loose weight". Okay... well, that's a little easier said than done. I'm currently having a lot of trouble getting used to the fact that pasta, bread, sweets, fruit, all of these foods that didn't make me sick (when most all food makes me sick) are actually really bad and I can't have them anymore, period, because my body doesn't know how to properly digest them without massive amount of insulin. ..... wow. I love chicken, veggies, nuts, ect.... but that's not the problem. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this change. I'm not too good at being told 'No' and if you saw my kitchen right now, it's not even in the ball park of being PCOS friendly. I'm currently at a loss, but I know I want to impress Dr. Richmond when I go back for my 6 week post metformin check up with some nice amount of weight loss. The only thing I know to do is to make small goals. My first goal was cutting out all sodas. I haven't had a soda since I started my Metformin. Yay me, but I've done this before. Numerous times before, so it wasn't a hard switch. My current goal is to drink 1 gallon of water a day. I'm starting that today. We'll see how it goes.
I'm on day 10 of my metformin. I'm still at 500mg (building up to 1650) and I've yet to have any of the 'digestive' side effects. I was terrified I would, but so far so good. I've had headaches here and there but I'm not sure they're connected. Thursday I go to 2 pills a day. We'll see if I'm still so lucky in the diuretic department. I'm sure that's when the worst of it will start. I've been told once I'm up to my full dosage my appetite will decrease and my weight will fall off, my skin will get better, and my body hair will lighten up and become much much thinner. So I'll get hot? That'll be nice. ;) I'm not holding one little series of pills to that high of esteem quite yet. We'll see if I change my mind in a few months.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I wear teal
On April 11th, 2012, the day after my 25th birthday, I got a ribbon. A teal ribbon. An awareness ribbon. Awareness for PCOS. Polycystic Ovary Syndrom. I was diagnosed today, and more than ever I feel like for every 2 steps we take forward we're forced to take 3 steps back. The longer we go on this road, the more then blocks are stacked against us. I'm starting Metformin right away to help with the insulin resistance and other symptoms. My Insulin level was 18.2 when it should have been at around 5. My FSH levels were 2.5 times what my LH levels were.
FSH is often used as a gauge of ovarian reserve. In general, under 6 is excellent, 6-9 is good, 9-10 fair, 10-13 diminished reserve, 13+ very hard to stimulate. In PCOS testing, the LH:FSH ratio may be used in the diagnosis. The ratio is usually close to 1:1, but if the LH is higher, it is one possible indication of PCOS. A fasting insulin of 10-13 generally indicates some insulin resistance, and levels above 13 indicate greater insulin resistance.
My FSH level was 14.3 and my LH level was 5.6. My insulin was at an 18.2.
After reviewing symptoms, everything makes sense and I'm not surprised with his findings, but it hurts. It hurts being misdiagnosed for 10 years and suffering through 2 unnecessary surgeries and completely starting over on how we're going to get pregnant. This changes everything.
FSH is often used as a gauge of ovarian reserve. In general, under 6 is excellent, 6-9 is good, 9-10 fair, 10-13 diminished reserve, 13+ very hard to stimulate. In PCOS testing, the LH:FSH ratio may be used in the diagnosis. The ratio is usually close to 1:1, but if the LH is higher, it is one possible indication of PCOS. A fasting insulin of 10-13 generally indicates some insulin resistance, and levels above 13 indicate greater insulin resistance.
My FSH level was 14.3 and my LH level was 5.6. My insulin was at an 18.2.
After reviewing symptoms, everything makes sense and I'm not surprised with his findings, but it hurts. It hurts being misdiagnosed for 10 years and suffering through 2 unnecessary surgeries and completely starting over on how we're going to get pregnant. This changes everything.
As if that wasn't bad enough, Randy's tests came back poorly as well. He has low motility and a low count. Where he should be around 70% he's around 20% so he's going to have to start seeing a urologist in order to get treatment. It's not the worst, but it's not good. If I was perfectly healthy it probably wouldn't be too big of an issue, but as I'm not, it makes us having a child that much more difficult.
The only thing I can do at this point is start my meds and research. See what I can do to fight this. I won't let this beat me. This monster has a name and I plan on doing what I can to win this. I won't let this control me or establish who I am or what my future is. I know there is a plan. And I know I am meant to be a mother. One way or another, I will make that goal happen.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Dear Bebe,
Oh how you are loved. So very loved. Even before we know you, we love you. I want to meet you, Bebe. To watch you grow; explore. To watch your passion, your peace, your stubbornness, your love. I want to know you.
I want color for you. I want bright colors, blue skies, green grass, flowers, I want your life to be sprinkled with special. I want you to see the beauty in everything around you. I want sunshine and playtime. I want circuses and fairs. I want to watch your eyes light up. I want to watch you learn. I want to see you plant a garden, bake a cookie, write a page, catch a firefly, let it go. I want to see you get dirty in the exploration of your world. I want to watch you dance, and laugh, and run. I can't wait to see you express joy. To watch you work through sad times. To pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move yourself forward.
Oh how you are loved. So very loved. Even before we know you, we love you. I want to meet you, Bebe. To watch you grow; explore. To watch your passion, your peace, your stubbornness, your love. I want to know you.
I want color for you. I want bright colors, blue skies, green grass, flowers, I want your life to be sprinkled with special. I want you to see the beauty in everything around you. I want sunshine and playtime. I want circuses and fairs. I want to watch your eyes light up. I want to watch you learn. I want to see you plant a garden, bake a cookie, write a page, catch a firefly, let it go. I want to see you get dirty in the exploration of your world. I want to watch you dance, and laugh, and run. I can't wait to see you express joy. To watch you work through sad times. To pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move yourself forward.
Oh, Bebe, you are going to be so special! So unique! I will look at you and see myself. I will look at you and see your dad. But you will not be us, you will be you, and that's the most important thing you could ever be, so be it well and true! Who knows when we will meet, but the day will come, and I am so excited to share it with you!
Your Mom.
Your Mom.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Here are just some educational links talking about the different issues and procedures we're dealing with.
Polycysitc Ovarian Syndrome
Polycysitc Ovarian Syndrome
Here we go again.
Surgery. Another one.
I went to Dr. Richmond today and after a full work up and us discussing the problems and my past, he's decided the best course of action is going to be another laparoscopy as well as a Hysterosalpingogram. The laparoscopy is going to give him a current idea of what we're dealing with here. The Hysterosalpingogram is a type of Xray where they will inject a dye (contrast fluid) up into my uterus that will travel through my fallopian tubes so they can check for damage or blockages. If there is a blockage, depending on who does the laparoscopy they will remove it or I will go elsewhere to have the blockage removed, meaning a second surgery. I could have the HSG done without the laparoscopy, but if something is found they'll just have to go in to do the surgery anyway so he thinks it best to have them both done at once. He's referring me to the ART fertility program in Birmingham for treatment as they specialize in infertility and he's says they're the best. He's also having a seamen analysis done on Ran just to be sure everything is good there. They said once you reach 2 years of trying to get pregnant with no success that there is a 20-40% chance it's a male problem.
I go in tomorrow for an insulin fast to confirm the PCOS, which he said, since I'm ovulating, it's not going to affect me that much. He'll start me on a set of pills to help with the symptoms, but he doesn't think it's going to affect me getting pregnant. They'll also be doing an LH and FSH blood work up at the same time. Those are blood tests for luteinizing hormone (LH), progesterone, or follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH).
We go back on April the 11th (the day after my birthday)to get the test results for me and for Ran, collect the information from the last 2 laparoscopies, get my ART referral, and schedule a date for the surgery. I've got to call my insurance and find out how much they are going to cover for the surgery and HSG if they cover anything at all and to find out the cost that is going to be on us. It's going to be quite substantial, more than we can afford, but if it's meant to be, we'll find a way. So, that's our game plan. That's where we go from here.
I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm just in waiting. I'm glad we have a game plan, I just want to see what's going to happen next. Just keep us in your prayers. With everything going on in our lives right now, with Teresa, and just life in general, we could use a little peace and joy and nothing would bring us more joy than to have those 2 little pink lines finally show up. It would be a wonderful little miracle and a nice change of pace from the last year and a half. :)
I went to Dr. Richmond today and after a full work up and us discussing the problems and my past, he's decided the best course of action is going to be another laparoscopy as well as a Hysterosalpingogram. The laparoscopy is going to give him a current idea of what we're dealing with here. The Hysterosalpingogram is a type of Xray where they will inject a dye (contrast fluid) up into my uterus that will travel through my fallopian tubes so they can check for damage or blockages. If there is a blockage, depending on who does the laparoscopy they will remove it or I will go elsewhere to have the blockage removed, meaning a second surgery. I could have the HSG done without the laparoscopy, but if something is found they'll just have to go in to do the surgery anyway so he thinks it best to have them both done at once. He's referring me to the ART fertility program in Birmingham for treatment as they specialize in infertility and he's says they're the best. He's also having a seamen analysis done on Ran just to be sure everything is good there. They said once you reach 2 years of trying to get pregnant with no success that there is a 20-40% chance it's a male problem.
I go in tomorrow for an insulin fast to confirm the PCOS, which he said, since I'm ovulating, it's not going to affect me that much. He'll start me on a set of pills to help with the symptoms, but he doesn't think it's going to affect me getting pregnant. They'll also be doing an LH and FSH blood work up at the same time. Those are blood tests for luteinizing hormone (LH), progesterone, or follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH).
We go back on April the 11th (the day after my birthday)to get the test results for me and for Ran, collect the information from the last 2 laparoscopies, get my ART referral, and schedule a date for the surgery. I've got to call my insurance and find out how much they are going to cover for the surgery and HSG if they cover anything at all and to find out the cost that is going to be on us. It's going to be quite substantial, more than we can afford, but if it's meant to be, we'll find a way. So, that's our game plan. That's where we go from here.
I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm just in waiting. I'm glad we have a game plan, I just want to see what's going to happen next. Just keep us in your prayers. With everything going on in our lives right now, with Teresa, and just life in general, we could use a little peace and joy and nothing would bring us more joy than to have those 2 little pink lines finally show up. It would be a wonderful little miracle and a nice change of pace from the last year and a half. :)
Friday, March 16, 2012
Birdie vs Baby
The thoughts that I can't keep out of my head as of late are all about how a pregnancy would affect our fostering journey. When finally deciding to look to another plan in order to become a parent, I never thought I'd be back on this one. Over the last 3 months I've become quite attached to the thought of "Birdie". Birdie is the nickname I've given to our future foster child. We have no idea what it's going to be or how old (we're accepting male and female 0-4), but we've been planning, preparing a room, purchasing different things to get ready for the day we get that call. They call it "Paper pregnancy". I'm not ready to give up on foster care just because there is a sliver of hope we may have a biological child, but having another child in our home does complicate things. For one, we live in a 3 bedroom house. We have converted my office into Birdie's foster room and put my things into Ran's office that we now share. Unfortunately at this point in time, I don't have 2 rooms I can give up. We have to have a place to work, else we'd go crazy and there isn't anywhere else in the house that an office would work in.
My current plan is to continue with the licencing process. It will be fall before we are complete and by that time I'll have quite a few months in of being TTC again. If we get pregnant in that time, we will maintain our training hours and be foster parents on paper without accepting placements until we feel like we're ready and that we've gotten to a point the new parent learning curve that a foster child wouldn't have a disservice done to them in being with us.
Then again, we may not get pregnant. That is still a very real possibility. Just because there is a new diagnosis doesn't mean the prognosis will be different. At least this time there is another path forged. I am at peace with fostering to adopt. I think it's a wonderful way to expand on our family. A way I'd be honored to be a part of. Giving birth to a child that is biologically mine would be beautiful as well and of course I would be in absolute adoration of this happening. Either way, I'll be fine. I'm not aiming for a pregnancy, I'm aiming to become a mother.
My current plan is to continue with the licencing process. It will be fall before we are complete and by that time I'll have quite a few months in of being TTC again. If we get pregnant in that time, we will maintain our training hours and be foster parents on paper without accepting placements until we feel like we're ready and that we've gotten to a point the new parent learning curve that a foster child wouldn't have a disservice done to them in being with us.
Then again, we may not get pregnant. That is still a very real possibility. Just because there is a new diagnosis doesn't mean the prognosis will be different. At least this time there is another path forged. I am at peace with fostering to adopt. I think it's a wonderful way to expand on our family. A way I'd be honored to be a part of. Giving birth to a child that is biologically mine would be beautiful as well and of course I would be in absolute adoration of this happening. Either way, I'll be fine. I'm not aiming for a pregnancy, I'm aiming to become a mother.
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